Birth to 3 months

Newborn care: welcoming your baby

What a newborn looks like, the Sunnah of the first week, your own recovery, feeding, sleep and what to expect each month. Start with the tab that matches what you need today.

What a newborn really looks like

Your baby may look nothing like the photos you scrolled past. Almost everything that worries new parents in the first days is normal and fades within weeks.

Seven things new parents ask about most

Head shape.
After hours in the birth canal the head can look long or squashed. It rounds out within days. Babies born by C-section usually have rounder heads.
Soft spots.
The gaps between skull bones let the head squeeze through birth. The back one closes within a few months. The front one takes about 9 to 18 months. Don’t worry about it; wash and stroke the head gently as usual.
Eyes.
Puffy for a few days from birth pressure. A sticky yellow discharge can mean a blocked tear duct or a mild infection, so ask your doctor for drops. Real eye colour settles after a few months.
Nose.
Often blocked. Don’t use nose drops or anything else without asking a doctor first.
Mouth and tongue.
A white tongue is normal in a baby who lives on milk. White spots on a pink tongue can be thrush, which your doctor can treat.
Skin.
A white waxy coat (vernix) protects the skin and is absorbed slowly. Blue-grey patches called Mongolian spots are harmless. Red marks from birth pressure fade in a week or ten days. Hands and feet can look bluish for the first hours, and swollen genitals come from your hormones.
Hair.
The dark newborn hair falls out in the first week and new hair grows in. Fine down on the cheeks, ears, shoulders and back goes by about month four. Hair colour at birth doesn’t predict colour later.

The first cry

It means your baby’s lungs have switched from the placenta to breathing air. It also tells the midwife the airway is clear and the voice box works. If your baby’s cry changes suddenly later on, mention it to a doctor.

Normal in the first hours

A swollen face and eyes, rosy lips, bluish hands and feet, and a tuck of swelling in the genitals. All of it settles quickly and none of it is your doing.

Jaundice: yellow skin in the first days

Jaundice is very common. Bilirubin is a yellow pigment made when old red blood cells break down. A young liver can’t clear it fast enough, so it builds up and the skin and eyes turn yellow. It usually shows in the first few days.

The order the yellow spreads

Type	What it looks like	What happens
Normal (physiological)	Shows in the first days and fades by the end of week one. Premature babies can take up to two weeks.	Usually settles by itself.
Needs a check (pathological)	Lasts longer than two weeks.	Needs tests to find the cause.

Why it happens

The liver isn’t mature yet and can’t clear bilirubin quickly.
The body makes too much bilirubin.
An infection in the blood.
A mismatch between your blood group and the baby’s (Rh or ABO).

How it is treated

A blood test
measures the bilirubin level.
If it is high
the baby has phototherapy: special lights that turn bilirubin into something the body can pass.
If it is low
the yellow fades alone within one or two weeks.

Vaccinations

Most countries run a vaccination schedule: a series of shots at set ages, starting from birth. In some countries it is compulsory and in others it is recommended. The exact ages differ from country to country, so follow your own health service’s schedule.

Common childhood vaccines
Vaccine	Protects against
Hepatitis B	Hepatitis B, a liver infection.
TB	Tuberculosis, in countries where it is common.
DTP (or DTaP)	Diphtheria, whooping cough (pertussis) and tetanus.
Polio	Poliomyelitis.
Pneumococcal	Pneumonia, meningitis and ear infections caused by the pneumococcus germ.
MMR	Measles, mumps and rubella.
Chickenpox (varicella)	Chickenpox.
Hepatitis A	Hepatitis A.

Many of these are given as a series of doses in the first year or two, with boosters around four to six years. Ask your doctor or health visitor what is due, and when.

UK schedule (NHS) US schedule (CDC)

Getting ready: what to buy

Before the baby arrives, have the basics in the house. Think about the season your baby will be born in, and don’t stock up on one size. They outgrow clothes fast.

Clothes

6 sleepsuits and 6 vests (the kind that fasten between the legs)
Bibs, and socks if the suits have no feet
3 or 4 going-out outfits
A coat or snowsuit for cold weather
2 receiving blankets, plus a woollen blanket in winter

Cotton, cotton blends and knits are the softest. Some wool and synthetics itch.

Hygiene

6 to 8 packs of nappies
Sterile gauze for the belly button
Mild baby soap and shampoo
Nappy rash cream and wipes
Bags for dirty nappies
Soft towels, comb and brush
Round-ended nail scissors
A baby bath

Feeding

If you plan to breastfeed, you may want a breast pump and some sterilised bottles for expressed milk. See the Feeding tab for everything else.

Bedroom

A bassinet or a crib, fitted sheets and blankets. You may want a few things to make the room feel like theirs.

Getting around

An infant car seat, a pram or stroller, and a baby carrier or sling.

Your body after birth

You have just done something enormous, and your body needs weeks to settle. The postnatal bleeding is called nifas, and it can last up to 40 days. Here is what is normal, and what to keep an eye on.

What you might notice in the first days
What you notice	What it means
A slight fever or feeling hot	Natural after the effort of birth, and usually gone in about 24 hours. If it lasts longer, tell your doctor. It can point to swollen breasts or an infection.
A slower heartbeat	Natural for two or three days. A faster heartbeat after birth is not, so see your obstetrician.
Trouble passing urine or stool	Soreness, stitches or tears. Small tears heal quickly.
Cramps as the womb shrinks	The womb is returning to its normal size, and the cramps can feel like mild labour pains, especially with a second or later baby. Breastfeeding helps it along.
Bleeding (lochia)	Heavy and red at first, then fading through pink or brown to yellowish-white over the coming weeks. Most of it comes in the first week.
A soft tummy, back ache, piles, stretch marks	All common, especially if you gained weight quickly. Your body has not finished changing back yet.

Looking after yourself

Week 1Rest
Stay in bed as much as you can. Keep visitors few, so you are not exposed to colds and infections.
Week 2Short moves
Get up for short spells, then go back to bed.
Week 3Small jobs
Do a few light tasks that don’t take much energy.
Check-upSee your doctor
Make sure everything is returning to how it was before pregnancy.

Eat and drink well

A balanced diet with protein, fruit, vegetables, and foods rich in iron and calcium, to replace the blood you lost.
Plenty of fluids, roughly 8 to 12 cups of water a day. Keep a cup beside you at every feed.
Little caffeine, and no nicotine at all.

Bleeding and pads

Buy maternity pads. They are longer, softer and more absorbent.
On day one, change every couple of hours, then every 3 or 4 hours.
Wash your hands before and after each change.
By week four you may only need panty liners.

If you had a C-section

The first days

You may feel dizzy and breathless in the first 24 hours. Move slowly, but do move.
Ask your doctor for painkillers that are safe while breastfeeding.
The hospital stay is usually three to five days if all goes well.
Rest, and drink lots of fluids. Ask your doctor about vitamins.

Back home

Lift nothing heavier than your baby for the first two weeks.
Keep stair-climbing to a minimum.
Ask someone to do the laundry and cleaning.
Check your scar and tell your doctor about any unusual change.
No exercise until you have seen the doctor. Ask them when it is safe to drive.
Avoid vaginal douches.

Periods, pregnancy and contraception

If you are…	Your period usually returns…
Breastfeeding often	After 6 to 12 months in some cases. The more often you feed, the longer it takes.
Bottle-feeding	Within one to three months.

You can become pregnant before your first period comes back. Some birth control pills reduce milk supply, so ask your doctor for a method that suits breastfeeding.

Weight, food and getting moving again

Your body is not in a hurry. Keep your weight steady rather than trying to lose it fast, and treat the first year as the time to return to your usual weight. Breastfeeding itself helps the womb shrink and helps burn off the fat gained in pregnancy.

Eating

Moderate portions, lots of fruit and vegetables.
Don’t ban the foods you love. A small taste stops binges.
Ate a lot one day? Go lighter the next.

Moving

Light exercise for 15 to 30 minutes, three to five times a week.
Did none in pregnancy? Start with 15 minutes and build up.
No swimming until seven days after all bleeding has stopped.
After a C-section, wait for your six-week check.

Girdles and corsets

Skip them unless a doctor advises one. They can weaken the tummy muscles, trap sweat and cause skin problems. Gentle exercise does the job properly.

Pelvic floor exercise (Kegel)

Tighten
the muscles you would use to stop urine halfway.
Hold for ten, relax for ten
Repeat ten times. Aim for three sets a day.

It protects your bladder control for life. Stop and see your doctor if you leak urine or feel pain.

Pelvic lift

Lie on your back
with a pillow under your head and knees bent.
Tighten and press
Tighten your pelvic floor, pull your lower tummy in, and press your lower back into the bed for a count of three. Then lift. Repeat ten times without holding your breath.

Your feelings matter as much as your stitches

After birth you are suddenly responsible for a tiny person, on top of everything else you already carried. Many mothers feel low, tearful or overwhelmed, or feel they have lost their looks and their freedom. When it takes hold, it is called postnatal depression. It is common, and it is not a failing.

What helps

Tell your husband how you feel. He can take the baby while you go for a walk or do some shopping.
Get in touch with other full-time mothers. They understand, and it eases the loneliness.
Do something you love: writing, drawing, sewing, exercise.
Do some charity work, and make a little time for yourself every day.
Play with your baby and talk to them. That first smile is worth waiting for.

Dads, this part is for you

A husband is often the best support a new mother has. Take some of the care, keep the atmosphere calm and kind, and encourage her.

Fathers can feel forgotten too. Set aside time each day for the baby and for each other.

When to go back to work

Some mothers want to return early, around three months, for their career or for financial independence. Only you can answer the question. Here are four things to think through.

1. Your baby’s health

Any health problem to keep in mind?

2. Who will care for them

A grandmother or trusted neighbour, or a nursery you trust that looks after babies this age.

3. Your leave

Must you go back quickly, or can you take longer until you feel sure?

4. Your balance

How ready are you to balance work outside the home with home?

Breastfeeding

Breast milk is made for your baby: the right mix of nutrients, at the right temperature, clean, free and always ready. It does more than feed. Holding your baby close builds a bond through touch, smell and eye contact.

For your baby

Antibodies that protect against diarrhoea, stomach bugs, ear and urinary infections.
Lower risk of obesity later on.
Comfort, security and a strong bond with you.
Always fresh, safe, and at the right temperature.

For you

Your womb shrinks back faster.
Helps you lose the weight gained in pregnancy.
Delays your periods, which spaces out pregnancies, though it is not birth control.
Lower risk of breast and ovarian cancer, osteoporosis and diabetes.
No cost, no sterilising, no preparing.

The first feed

Feed as soon as you can after birth. Your first milk, colostrum, is packed with protein, vitamins, minerals and antibodies, and it suits a newborn’s stomach. Feeding early also makes the womb contract and helps prevent heavy bleeding.

Don’t worry about the tiny amounts in the first days. Your baby is born with water reserves and mostly needs the protein and antibodies.

Does my baby need water?

Not before six months. Breast milk, and formula too, is already mostly water. Extra water can upset a young baby’s salt balance.

If your baby has diarrhoea or vomiting, or gets very hot, call your doctor for advice on fluids.

Getting the latch right

A good latch avoids sore nipples and helps the milk flow. Keep a few small pillows within reach.

Bring the baby to your breast
Not your breast to the baby.
Wait for a wide mouth
If it only opens part way, touch your baby’s upper lip with your nipple.
Take in the whole areola
That is the darker area around the nipple, not just the tip. If needed, use a finger to keep your breast clear of the nose.
Check the signs
The lower lip is folded back beneath the nipple, the ears move as your baby feeds, and there is little or no pain.

Not quite right?

Slip your little finger into the corner of your baby’s mouth to break the suction, take them off and offer the breast again.

Feeding lying down

Lie on your side with your baby facing you, mouth in line with your breast. A pillow behind their back keeps them close. It gives you more control over the baby’s head and is very useful after a C-section.

Is my baby getting enough?

Your breasts feel softer and lighter after a feed.
Weight goes up steadily. Newborns usually lose about 10% of their birth weight in the first three days.
6 to 8 wet nappies every 24 hours.
Yellow stools.

Building your milk supply

Feed on demand, for as long as your baby wants.
Alternate breasts at each feed.
Express what is left after a feed.
Give breast milk only where you can. The supply adjusts to what your baby takes.
Ask your doctor about contraception, since some pills reduce milk.

Expressing milk

Expressing means taking milk out of the breast by hand or with a pump. It is a skill, like any other, and it gets easier with practice. It also keeps your supply up when you can’t feed directly.

Why you might express

Your baby is in neonatal intensive care, premature or unwell.
Cracked, inverted or painful nipples.
Swollen, full breasts.
You are going back to work, or away from your baby for long spells.
You are ill, or on medicine that could affect your baby, and need to keep up supply during a break.

By hand

Wash your hands
and have a sterilised container ready.
Make a C-shape
with your thumb and fingers, about 2.5 to 3.5 cm back from the nipple.
Squeeze and roll
Press towards your chest wall, then move around the areola. Too close to the nipple hurts.

With a pump

Manual pumps use a lever. Electric ones are quicker and more effective.
Centre the nipple in the cup. It should move in and out without pain.
A double pump is faster and boosts supply.
With a single pump, switch sides several times.
Keep going while milk still flows, so your baby gets the creamy milk at the end.

Storing expressed milk
Where	How long
Fridge	Up to 4 days, at the back of the fridge where it is coldest
Freezer	Up to 6 months
Thawing	Warm water, or overnight in the fridge. Avoid the microwave and bottle warmers.

When breastfeeding isn’t possible

Speak to your doctor before you stop. Expressed milk can often still be given.

On the mother’s side

An illness that could pass to the baby, such as tuberculosis or another contagious disease.
A chronic illness that drains your strength: heart, kidney or liver disease, cancer, severe anaemia.
Inverted nipples. Ask for help with them before feeding.
Damaged nipples. Get your doctor’s or midwife’s help with your latch. A nipple shield may help.

On the baby’s side

Mouth ulcers.
Heart or lung disease.
A weak sucking reflex from a neurological problem.
Some babies, such as very premature ones, can’t suck yet.

Bottle feeding

Formula is a safe way to feed your baby when breastfeeding isn’t possible, or when your milk isn’t enough. If your milk is low, keep breastfeeding and ask your doctor about topping up. Your husband can share the bottle feeds too.

Types of formula
Type	Good	Watch out
Ready-made	No mixing. Sterile, and no risk of contaminated water.	Expensive. Use within 48 hours of opening.
Liquid concentrate	Convenient.	Follow the ratio exactly. Too strong strains the kidneys, too weak affects growth.
Powder	Cheaper, and no fridge needed.	Measure carefully. Close the lid tightly and use within a month of opening.

What you need

About ten 250 ml bottles.
Teats: traditional, orthodontic or flat-topped.
A measuring jug, a funnel and a plastic spoon.
A bottle brush that you use for nothing else.
Sterilising liquid or tablets, table salt for the teats, and a container for soaking.

Good habits

Never heat a bottle in the microwave. Hot spots burn a baby’s mouth.
Rinse bottles straight after a feed.
Don’t push your baby to finish. Appetite changes from one feed to the next.
If the flow is too slow, try a faster-flow teat.

Sterilising, step by step

Wash
Bottles and teats in hot water, scrubbing bottles with the brush until no milk is left.
Scrub the teats
Rub the inside with salt, then rinse everything in cold water.
Clear the teat hole
With a pin.
Soak
Add cold water and the sterilising liquid or tablet to the container, stir, and close the lid.
Use and dry
Take items out as you need them and let them dry.

Electric, steam and microwave sterilisers also work and save time.

Making a bottle

Boil water
Pour the right amount into the bottle.
Add the powder
Use the scoop from the tin, in the exact amount the tin says for that water.
Shake
With the lid on, until it dissolves completely.
Cool
Fit the teat without touching the part your baby sucks. Feed at body temperature, 35 to 37 degrees Celsius.

Burping

Babies swallow air when they feed. Trapped air can cause discomfort or make your baby feel full before they have had enough. Keep a bib and a soft cloth ready, because some milk may come back up.

Over your shoulder

Lift your baby until their chest rests on your shoulder. Rub or pat their back gently.

Sitting up

Hold your baby upright with the head tilted slightly forward, one hand supporting the neck and back. Pat gently.

Across your lap

Lay your baby tummy-down on your lap, supporting the head, and pat their back.

Bath time

Lay everything out before you start, so your hands are never off the baby. You need a tub of warm water, mild baby soap and shampoo, a soft sponge or flannel, a soft towel, and a clean nappy and clothes.

Clean the face first
Take off the top half of their clothes. Clean the nose, ears, eyes and face with a soft flannel.
Then the lower half
Undress the bottom half, clean the tummy and genitals, then lower your baby gently into the water.
Wash the head
Use water and a mild, unperfumed shampoo or soap.
Wash the body
Pay attention to the folds of the neck, the creases of the body and the genital area.
Lift out safely
Left hand under the head, neck and shoulders, right hand under the bottom. Lay your baby on a soft towel and pat dry.
Moisturise
A zinc cream on the bottom helps prevent nappy rash. Rub a little baby-safe oil over the body, especially the creases. Skip cologne and anything perfumed.

Water temperature

Under 36°Too cool

36 to 37°CJust right

Over 37°Too hot

Never add hot water while your baby is in the tub.

Bath safety

Never leave your baby alone in the water, even for a moment.
Don’t let them stand in the tub until they can stand firmly.
Bathe and dress in the same room to avoid draughts.
Keep it under five minutes. Talk and play so water feels like a happy place.
Best about half an hour before a feed.

Sponge bath, part by part

Use this if your baby is unwell, has a low weight or hates the water. Also use it until the cord stump falls off and, for boys, until the circumcision has healed. Never pull on the cord.

Part	How
Skin	Rub gently with a sponge dampened in lukewarm water, dry with a soft towel and add a little baby oil. Most spots and rashes clear alone. See a doctor if one lingers.
Eyes	A separate piece of damp cotton wool for each eye, wiping from the inner corner outwards.
Ears	Wipe the outer ear with a cloth. Never use cotton buds, which can damage the eardrum.
Nose	Wipe around each nostril from the outside with a damp cloth every day.
Nails	Clip while your baby sleeps, and do it regularly so they can’t scratch their face.
Belly button	After the cord falls off, keep the area clean and dry with no dressing. Fold the top of the nappy down. See your doctor if you notice discharge or redness.

Nappies

Disposable

Quick and easy, and available in every size. Many mothers prefer them.

Cloth

Washed and reused, from folded towelling to fitted styles. Some mothers use cloth at home and disposables when out or travelling.

Changing, step by step

Get everything ready
Cloths, warm water with a little mild soap, barrier cream. Never leave your baby alone on the changing table or bed.
Lift and roll
Lift by the ankles and roll the dirty nappy halfway under.
Clean front to back
Always. For a girl this reduces the chance of bacteria reaching the vulva.
Dry, then a fresh nappy
Slide the clean one under, fold the top below the belly button if it hasn’t healed, and fasten firmly enough to stop leaks.
Wash your hands

Preventing nappy rash

Change after every wet nappy and every bowel movement.
Leave the nappy off for a while whenever you can, so air reaches the skin.
Don’t fasten it too tight.
Use a protective cream such as zinc oxide.
Skip perfumed wipes and cortisone creams.
See a doctor if the rash lasts a long time.

Dressing your baby

What to look for

Warm enough to avoid chills, but never so hot that they sweat. Sweating loses water.
Soft cotton, loose fitting, easy to wash.
No drawstrings or big collars, which can wrap around the neck.
Buy few, and don’t overspend. They will outgrow them soon.

Putting on a vest

Open the neck wide
Pass the back under the head, then bring the front down.
Arms next
Put your hand through a sleeve and gently draw the arm through. Repeat on the other side.
Fasten
Pull the vest over the tummy, lift the legs and fasten the ends.

Choose a moment when your baby is happy, and distract them with a mobile or a game.

Carrying your baby

In the first weeks your baby can’t hold their head up, so support it every time.

Picking up

One hand under the neck and head, the other under the bottom. From the floor, kneel first. Never lift by the arms or one side.

Cradle carry

Rest the head in the crook of your elbow, slightly higher than the body, with your other arm around the back.

Shoulder carry

Their chest against your shoulder and their upper body against your chest. One hand supports the head, the other the back.

Fever

A high temperature is the body fighting an infection. White blood cells ask the brain to raise the temperature, because heat kills some germs and helps the body make more defenders. It is a sign that something is going on, not an illness in itself.

36.5 to 37.7°CNormal range for a healthy baby (a little higher by day, lower at night)

38°C or moreA fever. Under 3 months, call a doctor straight away

Common causes

A vaccination.
A cold or flu.
A throat or ear infection.
A chest infection or bronchitis.
A viral infection.
A urinary tract infection.

What to do

Dress your baby in light cotton clothes.
Cool the room with ventilation, a fan or air conditioning.
Offer plenty of fluids.
Ask a doctor or pharmacist whether medicine is suitable for your baby’s age, and for the right dose.

Heat rash

What it looks like

Red pimples or spots around the neck, armpits, chest, nappy area and forehead. It means your baby is hotter than they should be, from heavy clothes or hot, humid weather, and sweat is trapped in the small pores.

Prevent and treat

Light, loose cotton clothes in hot weather.
Keep the bedroom cool and ventilated, and stay indoors in the heat.
Take some clothes off and let them go bare sometimes.
Cool cloths or a lukewarm bath soothe it. A soothing lotion such as calamine can help.
See a doctor if it spreads or hasn’t cleared in 3 to 4 days.

Sleep

Your baby will sleep a lot, because their body needs it. You can’t make them sleep more or less. Learn their pattern, and rest when they rest.

14 to 17 hrsa day for most newborns, in short stretches

3 to 4 hrsbetween feeds, so they wake to eat

2 monthsbefore night and day start to make sense

For the first two months the pattern is random, and your baby is awake more at night. That is normal. After that they slowly settle into a rhythm. Keep the noise down while they sleep, and hold off on the washing machine and the vacuum cleaner.

Where and how they sleep

A safe cot or bassinet

On their back. Side sleeping is less safe, because babies roll onto their tummies.
A firm, flat mattress that fits the crib tightly, with no gaps.
No pillows, soft mattress, heavy blankets or toys.
A thin, cellular blanket tucked in, feet at the foot of the crib, head always uncovered.
A sturdy crib that can rock but can be locked still while they sleep.
No smoking near your baby.

Bassinet or crib?

Bassinet. Small, comfortable and easy to carry from room to room. Move up to a crib when your baby outgrows it or starts turning over.

Crib. Can be used from the start but can’t be carried around.

Newborns sleep best close to their parents, but not in the same bed.

Is my baby ready to sleep?

Slower movements

A blank stare, as if looking at nothing

Yawning and eye rubbing

Fussy, or losing interest in people and toys

Another sign: your baby leans their head into your chest.

The six states of a newborn

Asleep

Deep sleep

Very still. Your baby moves through drowsiness, light and deep sleep, and sleep hormone is made here.

Asleep

Active sleep

The dreaming stage, and half of a newborn’s sleep (adults spend about 25%). Smiles, frowns, eye and limb movements. It can look as if they are about to wake. They are not.

In between

Drowsy

Half asleep, half awake. Don’t pick them up or talk to them.

Awake

Calm and alert

Quiet, watching everything. They may answer with a smile.

Awake

Active

Moving arms and legs, getting ready to cry or shout.

Awake

Upset

Crying hard and hard to settle. It shows up in the first weeks and usually passes early in the third month.

Building good sleep habits

A simple routine

Bath
A full feed
Hunger wakes babies up.
Into the crib
A little gentle play, then dim the room.

Repeat it daily and your baby learns what comes next. Stay flexible, since babies vary and so do days.

Teaching night from day

Day: rock, play, sing, make them laugh, keep things bright and lively.

Night: quiet, dim lights, no chatting and no games.

Nap in the same place as night sleep where you can. A nap in the car or stroller is fine when you are out.

Gradually help your baby fall asleep without you doing everything for them.
Set out whatever you need for the night before, so you don’t have to leave the room.
If your baby has slept a very long time, wake them for a feed. Nutrition matters more than sleep.
Cool bedrooms, loose clothes and a dry nappy all help. Tight clothes or socks can annoy them.
Massage relaxes most babies, especially with a little play.

Sleep is disturbed? Check these first

Temperature. Neither too warm nor too cold. Check the clothes too.
Light. Some babies can’t sleep in total darkness, so use a dim light. Others are woken by morning sun, so hang heavy curtains.
Noise. Fridges, washing machines, dripping taps, doorbells, TV and shouting children all bother some babies.
Nappy and hunger. A wet nappy or an empty tummy will wake them.

Waking up crying with none of these present is normal at this age.

Waking early? Use thick curtains, wait a few minutes before you go in, and keep your baby awake for an hour before bedtime. If nothing works, adapt to their schedule. It changes around six months.

Should I leave my baby to cry until they sleep?

Not for long. Crying is your baby’s only way of saying they feel scared or alone, and if nobody comes, they feel unsafe. Don’t leave them crying alone for long or until they drop off.

If your baby wakes up and fusses, a short wait is fine. If it turns into crying, go to them, pat them, smile and comfort them.

Crying

Crying is your baby’s only way of talking. In most cases they cry because they need something. In the first weeks the cry has no tears and little variety, but you will soon learn to tell one from another.

2 hoursof crying a day is average for a healthy baby in the first three months

3+ hoursa day is too much. Speak to your doctor

What is my baby telling me?
Reason	How it shows	What to try
Hunger	A short cry that keeps rising and falling in volume. The most common reason.	Feed, and don’t take them off until they have had enough.
Wet nappy	Fussing and squirming.	Change it and check the fasteners.
Too hot or too cold	Hands and feet are not a reliable guide.	Feel their tummy. If it feels hot, call a doctor. Dress for the weather.
Pain	Waving arms and legs. If worse, the knees pull up to the tummy. Babies do feel pain.	Look for a cause and see a doctor if it continues.
Sudden change	A loud noise or bright light.	Calm and hold them.
Lonely or bored	Cries when left alone awake for a long time.	Talk, play, hold them.
Strangers	Anyone they don’t see often, even their father.	Reassure them. It is natural.
Colic	A loud, non-stop cry, red face, knees pulled to the tummy. It can last for hours.	See below.

Colic

Colic is one of the most common reasons for crying up to about three months. It isn’t an illness and usually has no medical cause. Still, ask a doctor to put your mind at rest. Likely causes include too much or too little milk, milk that is too hot or cold, gas, and a young, sensitive nervous system.

What helps

Rub their tummy gently.
Hold, hug, pat and play. If the crying starts again, keep going.
Rock them in your arms or a swinging cradle.
Go out for a walk.
Take turns with your husband so each of you gets a quiet room and some sleep.
Stay patient. Every baby cries at this age.

How your baby grows

Every baby grows at their own pace, so don’t compare. Have weight and length recorded at every check-up. That lets your doctor see whether your baby is within the usual range.

110 to 200 ga week in the first month (4 to 7 oz)

450 to 900 ga month for the next five months (1 to 2 lb)

2.5 cmtaller each month in the first six months

WHO child growth standards

Month by month

Month 1Weeks 1 to 4

Body

Movements are random. The head flops back if you sit them up.
Curls up like in the womb, fists clenched. May grip something put in their hand, then drop it.
Starts to discover their hands and feet.
Follows moving objects with their eyes for short spells.

Talk

Random sounds. Gurgles, or coos like a pigeon.

Connect

Stops crying when picked up or when they hear your voice. Answer them face to face.

Month 2Weeks 5 to 8

Body

Eyes open more, and you may spot their eye colour.
Better head control: can hold it level with the body when carried.
Arm and leg movements smoother. Holds things for a minute or two.

Talk

Random sounds.

Connect

Looks at whoever is talking and gazes at you. Their first real smile arrives this month.

Month 3Weeks 9 to 12

Body

Waves arms, kicks, brings hands together and spreads the fingers.
Bats at dangling toys. Grasps small soft toys and brings them to the mouth.
Turns the head strongly, sits with support and can hold a rattle.
Wants to grab everything they see.

Talk

Babbles sounds they like, such as “gha-gha” and “ah-ah”. Loves being talked to.

Connect

Wants company and cries if left alone, then smiles when picked up. Sleep is smoother, so you may get your share at night.

Things to try

Talk back

Answer their gurgles and coos in the same way. Talk face to face, and keep eye contact when you feed and play.

Eye games

Bring your face close, shake your head gently, and watch them lock their gaze on you.

Touch and tickle

Tickle their feet, stroke their nose and cheeks, kiss their hands, and try a gentle massage.