His sons
Three sons: al-Qasim, Abdullah and Ibrahim. All three died young. Al-Qasim and Abdullah were born to Khadijah in Makkah. Ibrahim, born to Maria al-Qibtiyya in Madinah, died while he was still nursing.
The best example
The Prophet ﷺ and his children
He kissed them, carried them in prayer, wept when one died, and told a father to treat his children equally. What the narrations show, and the dua he said over his two grandsons.
How the Prophet ﷺ treated his children
The Prophet ﷺ was the best of people to his family. He raised his children, stepchildren and grandchildren on Islamic principles, cared for their needs of body and of faith, and kept looking out for them after they married. When people used to harshness asked why he played with children, he said: “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” Bukhari 5997
His daughters
Four daughters, all born to Khadijah: Zaynab (married to Abu al-As), Ruqayyah and then Umm Kulthum (each married to Uthman ibn Affan), and Fatimah (married to Ali ibn Abi Talib), the most beloved to him. Fatimah died about six months after him.
Honour your daughters, and welcome them
He said that whoever is tested with daughters and treats them well, they will be a shield for him from the Fire. When Fatimah came in, he stood up, kissed her and sat her in his own place.
Try this: show you are happy to have daughters. Greet them warmly, stand up, hug them, and invest in their upbringing and manners.
Bukhari 5995Muslim 2629Abu Dawud 5217 · SahihTirmidhi 3872 · Sahih
Ask her, and keep marriage simple
A virgin is not married until she gives her permission, and her silence counts as permission. Ali had nothing to give as a mahr except his coat of mail, and the Prophet ﷺ accepted that.
Try this: ask your daughter before you agree. Look for a man of faith and good character, don’t inflate the mahr or the wedding, and help the couple where you can.
Bukhari 5136Muslim 1419Abu Dawud 2125 · SahihNasa’i 3375 · Hasan Sahih
Stay close, but stay out of small arguments
When Ruqayyah was ill, he kept her husband Uthman home from Badr to care for her and gave him the reward of those who fought. When Fatimah and Ali argued and Ali left, he didn’t ask who was right. He found Ali asleep in the mosque, brushed the dust off him and called him “Abu Turab”.
Try this: support your children in hard times. When a married child argues, don’t cross-examine or take sides. Lower the temperature, be gentle with your son-in-law, and encourage your daughter to be patient and kind.
Bukhari 3130Bukhari 441Muslim 2409
Guide them to what is better
When Fatimah asked for a servant, he taught her and Ali what to say at bedtime instead: Allahu akbar 34 times, Subhan Allah 33 and Alhamdulillah 33. He also asked them, “Won’t you pray at night?” and told Fatimah to save herself from the Fire, because he could not.
Try this: teach your children dhikr before sleep. Invite them gently to night prayer, and teach them to own their choices instead of leaning on the family name.
Bukhari 3705Muslim 2727Bukhari 1127Muslim 775Bukhari 2753Muslim 204
Comfort them in grief
When a daughter sent word that her child was dying, he told her: “What Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His, and everything has a fixed term. So be patient and hope for Allah’s reward.” Then he went to her, and wept. At his son Ibrahim’s death he said: “The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord.”
Try this: comfort your children when they lose someone. Tears are mercy, not weakness. Avoid wailing and complaint, and remind them that everything belongs to Allah.
Bukhari 1284Muslim 923Bukhari 1303
Give your love openly
Anas said he had never seen anyone kinder to his family than the Prophet ﷺ. He visited Ibrahim at his nurse’s house, picked him up and kissed him. When Ibrahim died, he said that two foster-mothers would complete his nursing in Paradise.
Try this: hug and kiss your children, visit them, and say the loving thing out loud.
Muslim 2316Bukhari 5997
For every child, not only his own
- Fair between children. He told a father who had given one son a gift: “Then take him back.” Muslim 1623
- Patient with them. He lengthened his prostration rather than disturb his grandson on his back. Nasa’i 1141 · Sahih
- Playful. He called the young Anas “O you with the two ears”. Abu Dawud 5002 · Sahih
- Taught faith early. “O boy, be mindful of Allah and He will protect you.” Tirmidhi 2516 · Hasan Sahih
Read the main narrations
The Prophet (ﷺ) kissed al-Hasan while al-Aqra’ was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra’ said, “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” He said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.”
Whoever is put to the test by these daughters and treats them generously, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.
Whenever Fatimah would enter upon the Prophet (ﷺ) he would stand to her and kiss her, and he would sit her in his sitting place.
A virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission. The people asked how they would know her permission. He said: “Her silence.”
When Ali married Fatimah, the Prophet (ﷺ) said to him: “Give her something.” He said: “I have nothing with me.” He said: “Where is your coat of mail?”
Uthman did not join the Battle of Badr because he was married to one of the Prophet’s daughters and she was ill. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to him: “You will get a reward and a share similar to that of one who took part in Badr.”
The Prophet (ﷺ) went to Fatimah’s house and did not find Ali there. He found him sleeping in the mosque, covered with dust, and started cleaning the dust from him, saying: “Get up, O Abu Turab.”
“Shall I teach you something better than what you have asked me? When you go to bed, say Allahu akbar thirty-four times, Subhan Allah thirty-three times and Alhamdulillah thirty-three times.”
“Whatever Allah takes is for Him, and whatever He gives is for Him, and everything with Him has a limited, fixed term. So she should be patient and hope for Allah’s reward.” Later, as the child lay dying, the Prophet’s eyes shed tears. He said: “It is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His slaves.”
At the death of Ibrahim the Prophet’s eyes were shedding tears. Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf said, “Even you, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord.”
I have never seen anyone kinder to his family than the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). Ibrahim is my son and he died as a suckling babe. He has two foster-mothers who will complete his suckling period in Paradise.
A dua to protect your child
The Prophet ﷺ used to recite this over his grandsons al-Hasan and al-Husayn, and said that Ibrahim used it for Ishaq and Ismail.
أُعِيذُكُمَا بِكَلِمَاتِ اللَّهِ التَّامَّةِ مِنْ كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ وَهَامَّةٍ وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لاَمَّةٍU’idhukuma bikalimatillahi-tammati, min kulli shaitanin wa hammatin, wa min kulli ‘ainin lammah.
I seek refuge for the two of you in the Perfect Words of Allah, from every devil and every poisonous pest, and from every harmful eye.
He said it for two children. For one child the word changes to u’idhuka (a boy) or u’idhuki (a girl). A similar wording is in Sahih al-Bukhari 3371.
More duas for marriage and children, with the Arabic, the transliteration and the source for each.