At home
Screens, smoking and the arguments children overhear. The parts of family life that shape a child quietly, and what doctors and the Sunnah both say about them.
Children learn less from what you say than from what happens at home. Four things at home shape a child, for good or bad: screens, smoking, arguments and how you discipline.
Television can become a child’s “third parent”, and the risks can outweigh the benefits. Limits work better than a total ban.
Smoke in the room means your child breathes it too, and passive smoking is more dangerous for children than for the smoker. Parental smoking is linked to asthma and lower birth weight, and nicotine passes into breast milk. And a child watches you smoke and learns that it is normal. Both parents can stop, and a new baby is a good reason to do it.
A calm discussion is fine. Shouting and insults in front of children leave a deep wound. Small children need to feel safe. Constant conflict can leave them anxious, argumentative at school, with nightmares and bedwetting, and with no example to follow.
Children expect protection and love from their parents. Hitting confuses them, and can make them fearful, or violent and stubborn. Most psychologists and educators prefer discipline without smacking.
Insults do as much harm. They shake a child’s self-respect, make them feel worthless, and give them a sharp tongue. Speak to your child with respect, and choose the words you want them to say back.